two years later

Two years later. 


What has changed since my last post? A lot of things, really. Some good. Some bad. Some lost. Some gained. If you define two years in a single blog post, it would shift to so many conversations that I feel would not give justice to the events.


Yet, I am in the same place as I have been two years before. Working. Not working. Writing. Not writing. Sleeping. Barely. Two years. I could have read my whole Facebook timeline and find myself brooding over and over again how I could have passed two years by without anything to be proud of. I cannot remember a day I was ever proud of myself during those two years. I am not completely unhappy. I just feel like I'm wired for drama. And discontent. There are too many clocks ticking nowadays and I feel that I have not done anything to earn my ticket to anywhere. Whenever I feel like I am drifting out of orbit, I realize I am still in the same path - only that everything else is changing. All I see is a big giant hole coming closer. Becoming bigger.


What have I done in the past two years? 


Darwin has it all figured out, life. I wish I knew how things evolved. I could probably have adapted to be less dramatic.

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the 5th of november. i rode a cab from makati to poypoy's place. as with most cab drivers in manila, the driver, a man around his 60's asked that i add a little to the metered fare. we finally came up with a deal and we sped our way towards valenzuela. 

as soon as i tried to close my eyes, manong driver started ranting about his life as a police officer in vizayas and how he managed to score women during his uniform days. my mind began to signal red. you see, i hate cops. i am annoyed by their arrogance. i could also admit that i am afraid of them. and this driver is one arrogant ass. he began recounting his fictitious i-knocked-up carmi martin story and how he almost lost his wang when his other woman found out that he had plenty of other women. 

after that, i somehow tried to be comfortable. i began asking him stories about the academy, how it is being a police officer and if he ever extorted anyone. he was honest enough to admit that the force is a tarnished one. he asked me some sample questions that were asked during a police promotion exam. luckily, i failed them all.

mr. police/driver recounts his taxi adventures that whenever he is stopped by policemen, he just waives his expired id and badge and just mentions that he is still an active cop, of course, with hubris. by the time we arrived in letre, a police car flagged us to stop. police/driver waived his badge and began his speech about being in the force and so and so... i had assumed that i had a smoking violation since we were both smoking inside the cab when we were hailed by the cops. they then let us go. i told him how impressed i was and he puffed his chest all the more.

a few minutes on the road later, we were hailed again, by the same police car. they spoke longer than the first time and from the car, i saw police/driver's face wrinkle, then sag. apparently, the cops took his license and registration because the cab had some registration issues with LTFRB. we continued our trip, my driver's pride shaken a little. when he dropped me at marulas, he took more than what our deal was. i just let it slide. somehow, i pity the old man.

i guess there are times that we continuously hold on to power. an id and a badge may give you pass. but for me, its just cardboard and a piece of junk. some people just can't accept things for what and how they are.

november

harry potter movie.
naruto 515.
having a job with a decent internet connection.
wonderful boyfriend who actually acts like one.


isn't november awesome?